Alvin, Simon, Vonnegut

a christmas story ralphies dad

“My name is Jon Johnson, I come from” … Wait? Where?
Wisconsin, duh. Who jumps around the lumber
mills and takes opposing linemen out behind
the woodshed so they can be beaten to death?
A massive DE whose motor and
mouth never stop running, always yelling “Woo!” at
the top of his lungs, like Rick Flair, the Nature
Boy, as he sprints up and down the football
grass while his former teammate Russell Wilson
yells “Hut hut!”, like the damned Swat Team officers
in The Blues Brothers … ah, Chicago – Monsters
of the Midway … Da Bears … Bears? Chipmunks, maybe,
if you ask Ralphie’s father. What were their names?

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