In two-thousand-and-two I was red, white and
fleshy. Husky. Overweight. I was a lard…
“Lard! Lard! Lard!” Have you ever seen Stand by Me
when it’s been edited for TV? It’s nigh
unwatchable. They take out all the cusswords.
Fuck that shit. Swear away. Cuss like a sailor
or a hobo underneath the St. Louis
Arch, standing off by himself while a group of
United States Navy employees watch a
man named Buckite re-enlist. The hobo hears
his name and chuckles. “Butt tight,” he slurs,
raising a 40 ounce bottle of OE
and toasting the man’s good fortune. Meanwhile,
standing in line for the elevator to
the top of the monument, a girl of nine
notices one of the younger sailors in
his dress white uniform and she can’t take her
eyes off him. She sees that the white men hate him
and avoid his presence like the plague. His one
friend is a black woman who farts when she sees…


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