I Yam What I Yam


Which type of pie do you prefer? Me? I’m an
apple kind of guy, but only if it comes
with a scoop of snow white vanilla on top.
I eat my pie “a la mode,” like a gentle-
man, and take my coffee hot and with a spoon.
Don’t get me wrong, young’uns. Chocolate ice cream
is a-ok, but it doesn’t go with pie,
at least not my pie. It’s delicious with cake,
or so I hear through the grapevine. In vino
veritas. Pickles and peanut butter? Pass.
And who was the first asshole to try that one?
Was it Elvis? Yeah, I bet it was Elvis.
He was from Tupelo, in Mississippi.
Elvis Aaron Presley: they called him The King.
They call Bruce Springsteen The Boss. Johnny Cash, though?
Wonder twin powers. Active eight. Hear that whoosh?
Jess. We’re in Lennon’s limo with Bob Dylan.
Bobby’d like to know the name of John’s record
label. Do you remember that? What about
sitting in Woody hospital room strumming
a six string, playing his songs poorly? What if
Mr. Guthrie had passed on you, Mister Bob?
Drop the needle on Like a Rolling Stone and
ask yourself just one question: How does it feel?
Oh, and Bobby? What’s your favorite pie? Umm…


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