“I fear the Greeks, even when they bring gifts.”
Do you know why that saying’s a saying?
Remember the story of the Trojan Horse?
It led to Achilles’ last stand. And who
was the one who defeated him? Paris.
Fuckin’ Paris, that little dickhole. What
an asshole he was, right? The entire
Trojan War was a direct result of
his lust for another man’s wife: Helen.
Helen of Sparta. Then all the drama
went down – Paris took her back to Troy, the
Spartans went after her with help from the
rest of the goddamn Greeks, including a
half-man, half-god hybrid named Achilles.
That’s uh-kill-eez. It is not ack-ill-eez.
Get it right or pay the price. Jeopardy
has you asking the wrong fucking questions
and thinking useless and pointless knowledge
and the memorization of such things
makes you intelligent. It doesn’t. That’s
not the point, though. Do you remember when
Achilles killed Hector, strapped his body
to a chariot and dragged him around
the walls of the city for seven days?
And why, oh why, would he do such a thing?
Well … you see … Hector killed Patroclus and
well … I mean … they were Greek, you know? I’m sure
their mouths were constantly dry from spitting,
if you catch my drift, and no, that’s not a
reason for Greeks to be feared. But then there’s…