I have to say about…


Twenty-two lines of eleven syllables.
That’s what this one will be. It’s about Willy
Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. The
one with Gene Wilder. You know … the good one?
Right. It’s just a metaphor for God finding
The One. Wonka is God. Slugworth is Satan.
Slugworth offers the kids anything they wish
for the recipe to the Everlasting
Gobstopper. If only Slugworth possessed it,
he would be unstoppable. Spoiler Alert:
Slugworth was on Wonka’s payroll the whole time.

The Everlasting Gobstopper was just a
red herring. I mean, have you seen that thing? It
looks like one of Spacely’s Sprockets. Who would want
to eat that candy? No one, that’s who. It was
bullshit. It was all bullshit. Wonka let those
kids think they mattered. They didn’t. Charlie was
the Neo to Wonka’s Morpheus. Charlie
was the only person with the mettle to
run the candy factory. i.e., the world.
It’s God and Jesus. Jor El and Superman.
It’s Willy Wonka and Charlie. And that’s all…


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