When I was in L.A. last year I met a
man who claimed to have worked security for
Johnny Depp. He said it like he was bragging.
I nodded and asked if Mr. Depp has a
bracelet tree in or around his closet, and
if so, how many bracelets are on it? Ten?
One hundred? Ten hundred? More? Less? How many?
How long does he stare at them in the morning
before he leaves the house going, “How many
of these things should I wear today? Should I go
with the studs or the spikes? I’m feeling kind of
rock and roll, so spikes it is. Ahoy, matey.”
The man stared at me for ten seconds, then stood
and walked away. Quickly. Pfft. I thought it was…