Tupelo shmoop-alo. You know what I hate?
Couples who give each other pet names and dress
alike. There are tons of those in Tupelo.
They were there last night at your show – must’ve
been thousands of ’em there, all sharing moments
together with you and your rock and roll group.
That’s the beauty of your music. It brings folks
together. There were so many colors in
that crowd and all of them knew the words to your
songs. Well … at least the popular ones. I can’t
help but wonder if any of them saw you
sidle up to Ben and lean on his shoulder
the way Robert did to Jimmy and Freddie
did to Brian so long ago and thought, “Man,
this chick embodies rock and roll. Look at her!
I’m so glad I’m in Tupelo.” You know who
said that? Me. I did, because I get to write
about you and chronicle what’s it’s like to
go on tour with a badass rock and roll band……
And that’s what I’d give you. Maybe you’d like it.
Maybe not. Maybe you’d ball it up, throw it
in my face and tell me to fuck myself. Know
what? That’s OK. That’s real. That’s what I enjoy.
Kick me off the bus if you want. That’s all right.
Real people. Real feelings. Real emotions. It’s
like Almost Famous – you could make people care
about writing again. I can’t sell a thing.
I know you’re a big rock star and all, but would
you like to hang out with some good people and
have a good time? Immortalize yourself, too.
Ever heard of Gaius Maecenas and his
little group of writers? There was Virgil and…