More on this later (Part 4) – In near-screenplay form.

PsychopompJax

EXT. FIELD – DAY

Two men with guitars slung across their backs step through the trees.
One is tall and thin with wild hair and a crazy look in his eyes…

A brief explanation: 

This man’s name is Doubleyou. The idea
was to have Jack White play his role. “More on this

later…” leaves off here. This is what my screenplay
looks like. Well … kind of. It’s not formatted right,

but you get the idea, yeah? Just read this
like you’re watching a movie on the big screen.

Try to imagine seeing Jack White and Jack
Black – the guy I wanted to play the other

man in this scene, a dude named Bea. He’s short and
stocky, with a crazier look in his eyes….

EXTERIOR: FIELD – DAYTIME

Lesley hurries to his case. The men follow.

BEA
“Hold up, moon-doggie!”

LESLEY stops and turns, questioning what he just
heard. He sees the guitars have knives tied to the

headstocks like bayonets and both men have Jack
playing cards tattooed on their arms. He squints at

the shorter one and recognizes him as…

LESLEY
Augie?

BEA (as Jack Black)
Who?

LESLEY
Uh … Augie. He’s a character from a movie called Airborne.

BEA
What the hell is Airborne?

LESLEY shakes his head like, “forget it.” BEA frowns.
DOUBLEYOU elbows him in the arm and nods.

DOUBLEYOU (as Jack White)
Aces and Eights?

BEA looks over. He seems annoyed. He nods back.

BEA
Jax forever.

The men do a weird handshake and switch places,
then pull their guitars around. LESLEY looks for

BART, but he’s nowhere to be seen. He turns back.
The men are smiling as they tune their guitars.

BEA
I hope you’re not trying to cross the bridge.
There was a riot last night and the town’s off limits.
We camped out at the Kickapoo Corral last night.

(Quick note: This is a real place in Kansas. It’s
just a coincidence.) LESLEY is confused.

LESLEY
Kickapoo’s not a real place. It’s the town from
Tenacious D and The Pick of Destiny.

BEA looks at DOUBLEYOU, who shrugs.

BEA
Is that another movie?

LESLEY nods.

DOUBLEYOU
It sounds stupid.

BEA gives DOUBLEYOU a dirty look, then turns to LESLEY…

BEA
The Kickapoo Corral is about half-a-mile down the river.
It’s by the whirlpool north of the dam.

LESLEY seems confused. This irritates BEA.

BEA
The Tunnel Mill Dam? Across from Highland Cemetery?

LESLEY is clueless.

BEA
How do you not know what I’m talking about?

LESLEY shrugs.

LESLEY
You guys look familiar. Are you from around here?

BEA looks at DOUBLEYOU. They seem surprised.

DOUBLEYOU
Sixes and sevens?

BEA looks LESLEY up and down, then nods.

BEA
Jax forever.

They do a different handshake and switch positions. WHOOSH.
LESLEY thinks he’s IN HIS HEAD, using his inner monologue…

But … he’s dead. His thoughts are broadcast out loud. As
he looks them up and down, he says nothing, but… 

LESLEY (VOICE OVER)
What are you two supposed to be? A gang?
Do you think you’re the fucking Warriors?

BEA and DOUBLEYOU look at each other and grin. LESLEY laughs.

LESLEY
Or the Gramercy Riffs? Yeah…

BEA
Right! We’re a band called Psychopomp Jax.
I’m Bea. That’s Doubleyou. We rock faces.

WHOOSH. LESLEY blinks, hard, then shakes his head.
He’s not sure how they heard him. He tries to cover it…

LESLEY
B and W, like the letters?

The men shoulder their guitars. DOUBLEYOU smirks.

DOUBLEYOU
No. Doubleyou and Bea, like us. Just two guides.

LESLEY
Did you say guides or guys?

DOUBLEYOU
What?

LESLEY
Nevermind. So you’re a band, huh?

DOUBLEYOU
Yeah. We’re goin’ to Wichita.

BEA nods. LESLEY chuckles and shakes his head.

LESLEY
“Far from this opera forever more”?

They don’t laugh. LESLEY clears his throat, embarrassed.

LESLEY
It’s a line from a song by The White Stripes.

BEA
What kind of idiot would write something like that?

DOUBLEYOU elbows BEA in the ribs.
Bea ignores him and points at LESLEY’s sword.

BEA
Are you going to use your Vorpal to slay the Jabberwock?

LESLEY
Am I gonna do what?

DOUBLEYOU
He’s askin’ if you’re gonna use the sword.

LESLEY shrugs. DOUBLEYOU grins, wickedly.

DOUBLEYOU
If you ain’t gonna use it, just give it to us.

LESLEY recognizes the line and rubs his head.
BEA turns to DOUBLEYOU and speaks softly.

BEA
What do you mean us? If he gives it to
anyone he’s giving it to me. I saw it first.

DOUBLEYOU shakes his head. BEA swings his
guitar around and points the knife at Doubleyou, then
raises his right hand, as if he’s going to play his guitar.

BEA
Do you quarrel? Then draw, if you’re a man!

DOUBLEYOU
Prepare to be struck by my strumming blows!

DOUBLEYOU pulls his guitar around. LESLEY backs away.
Crows fly out of the trees. Lesley sprints for the bridge.
BEA and Doubleyou watch him run away and frown.

BEA
Why’s he running?

EXT. BRIDGE – DAY

LESLEY steps onto the bridge. He sees a police car
blocking access to downtown and races towards it

for help. The lights flash. A cop gets out and
points his weapon. Lesley stops, panicked.

He turns the other direction. BEA and DOUBLEYOU
step onto the bridge behind him and wave. Lesley

looks at the south railing, then back at the cop. He runs
to the railing, tosses the sword and jumps after it…

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