Do you want to smoke a cigarette? Do you like…


Movies? Do I? I’ve seen so many movies
that I know putting you in a corner will

anger Patrick Swayze, then he’ll start kicking
and screaming, “Black rage!” at the top of lungs.

Wait, huh? Haven’t seen that one, eh? That hurts me.
Why do you write so much about trivial

things like books and movies and music and drugs
or the lack thereof? Well … I’m chasing Aimee.

On paper that girl is off the charts. She starts
up the bell curve to the top of the hill and

just stays there, like the cherry on top of an
ice cream sundae. I don’t know how she did it

and she’s not telling either. That only makes
me like her even more. She’s a magician

who refuses to give away her one big
trick to the masses. Basically she’s a Sith

Lady, and I am her apprentice, because
she has all the power here. I merely crave

it, which is odd and off-setting, because I…
ignites lightsaber Your blade is blue. So is

the pen I use when I write on white paper
before typing the ideas I captured

onto my well-used Hewlitt Packard laptop.
If you had the choice between Taylor Momsen

and Jennifer Love Hewitt, who would you pick?
That’s a tough one, huh? On one hand you have … well.

Nevermind. On the other side of the wall
I can hear thumping. Someone has their bass up

and I swear I heard Flava Flav shriek, “Yeeeaaah, boooy!”
Let’s pause now, for a quick word from our sponsors…


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